I recently got a new living room rug. And then another one, and then another one.
You see, my new home is very different from my last one. I previously lived in a 580-square-foot, third-floor walkup apartment. I squeezed a 5x7’ rug in between my couch and TV stand, a hand-me-down rug that worked but wasn’t what I’d necessarily choose for myself. In my new house, there’s a nice open-layout-style first floor, with a living room that opens into the kitchen. Since it’s all one big space, my old rug wouldn’t really work well in it. I threw down my favorite runner temporarily and hoped I’d eventually figure out what would work best.
I browsed websites and scanned Facebook Marketplace getting ideas for what I wanted. I saved Instagram posts of design styles that I wanted to emulate. I went back and forth between 5x7’ or 8x10’, muted or bold, clean or busy. I had a little savings fund in YNAB (best budgeting software ever) that was slowly growing for eventual home purchases.
Finally I bit the bullet and bought a cheap-ish one from Target. It was 5x7’ and a beautiful deep red. I loved it. Then it arrived with spots of hot glue all over it and I had to return it. But I thought I liked it, so I re-ordered it. The replacement came and I proudly set it all up and lived with it for a couple of days and . . . it wasn’t right. I didn’t like it. I couldn’t figure out if it was the size or the color or what, but something about it just didn’t work.
I consulted a friend who has incredible design knowledge and she agreed the color wasn’t right and encouraged me to try an 8x10. I started my research all over again, totally overwhelmed by the choices and options, completely unsure of what to try next.
The next day I stopped into Ocean State Job Lot (the funniest little East Coast store where you can find the most random things) and thought to peruse the rug section, not really expecting to find anything. And then I stumbled upon the most perfect rug. It was more color than I typically gravitate towards, but it was a heavy, lush, 8x10’ that I could imagine working well in my space. I had to put all the seats down into my car and it reached all the way up into the front seats, but I fit it into my dear Subaru Forester and took it home.
And it’s perfect.
I still need to get the wrinkles out and perhaps re-situate it a tiny bit, but I love it. It makes me happy. It fits the rest of my decor well, I think. I can’t really believe I bought a pink rug (I was just telling a friend the other day how I don’t like pink!) but I’ll call it peach. I came downstairs this morning and was pleasantly surprised to find that I still love it.
And it’s making me think about design and style and how a space comes together. I’d say 90% of my belongings are thrifted. My dining table and chairs, my TV cabinet, my couch, my bamboo bookshelf, my wooden coffee table, my brass floor lamp, my wall mirror — all pieces that I’ve carefully selected over time.
What I’m realizing is that finding the right thing takes patience and persistence. It’s having an idea of what might work, and then using trial and error until it does. I’ll move a clock to one wall and then the next day try it somewhere else, moving it around until it settles into the right spot. I’ll shift plants around until they land in just the right amount of light. I’ll buy three rugs, slowly returning them when they don’t work, before I find the one I love.
This is also my biggest thrifting tip. I keep a list of what I want to find — a big wooden salad bowl, vintage lace curtains, the right size desk — and keep my eyes open when I stop into Goodwill or drive by a tag sale. I wait and wait and wait until the right thing appears. And it usually does.
It’s certainly not an instant gratification kind of thing. But maybe that makes it all the more satisfying.
And because I do things like apply home decor choices to life lessons, I’m trying to see how this idea can translate to other things, like mental health and life goals. This life chapter has been incredibly challenging for me (I’m kind of ready for this year to be over) and sometimes the only thing I can manage to do is wait it out, hoping that patience with my heart is what I need. And as I get hyper-fixated on all the life goals I haven’t achieved yet (some that have a very fixed timeframe), it seems like a healthy mix of patience and persistence is probably-always a good idea. In those tough moments my anxiety usually runs high, worrying that I’m not feeling better yet and don’t have the things I’ve dreamed of yet, but reminding myself that the right thing comes along eventually sometimes helps.
There’s zero instant gratification involved. But then one day you wake up and you feel 3% better than the day before and that feels miraculous and so you keep persisting.
Patience and persistence. Works for rugs, and also hearts.
It’s time for autumn manifestos!
I haven’t filled mine out yet (the above photo is from 2021, I think!) but am looking forward to filling it with pumpkin picking and a birthday getaway and spooky novels and crocheting baby gifts.
I love this mindset so much. And you. And that rug! Job Lot FTW!
ooh it's beautiful!!